I just realized that even if I break my heart again, it doesn't matter.
In fact, with this attitude, it'll probably never happen again.
At least not in the usual awful way. It'll just be what it will be - two people going their separate ways with gratitude for the lessons learned.
Or it'll be love for life the next time around.
I'm copying some updates from my last two newsletters:
Be careful what you wish for.... again.
Isn't it funny how things work out the way we least expect, yet the unexpected feels too familiar not to have been expected?
I found a new man.
I already mentioned in one of my blog posts that I've encountered a romantic interest while back in the Czech Republic.
It was sudden, intense, affectionate, emotional and fun, and it is finished.
I don't believe in promises made after a very short time of knowing someone and long-distance romantic relationships are difficult - for me.
My new career offers me a lot more stability and purpose.
The lesson from this new 'heartbreak'?
It wasn't heartbreaking at all, it was rather heart-opening.
I tasted the kind of feeling I know I deserve to have in a long-term relationship. It was the first time since 10 years ago that I felt an easy emotional connection, safety, and peace with a man. In fact, for the first time ever I felt truly heard and totally seen.
If you ask me how is it possible to create an emotional connection in a matter of days -
-> The answer is always an authentic communication.
Are you afraid of rejection? Of abandonment? Of commitment? -> Communicate all that!
By communicating, we found a way back to one another. In the end, we've established a beautifully honest intimacy. Lovers or friends - I am certain that by listening to my heart, it has led me to both a wonderful person and a wonderful job.
My last weeks in the Czech Republic couldn't have been sunnier.
Goodbye Prague, hello York for a year!
I am done with dating.
And I'm not saying it in a bitter manner. I'm merely done with various dating games like - not replying in a timely fashion (a few hours up to a full working day can be understandable, however, a few days? You/I've been too busy to reply for a week?), having unconscious fears of abandonment running the show, or mind-fucks to get each other to bed... I am done with that. In the best way possible.