Saturday, May 30, 2020

Koh Phangan sexual healing

Can one passionate evening change what you thought you knew about yourself, men, and relationships?

I decided to leave Koh Phangan and move on to the next adventure - making my way back to the West.

Classically, I met a romantic interest just when I realized that my days in KP were numbered and that I’d happily spend them alone in productivity.

I had wished for a boyfriend 3 months before, then concluded I’d settle for a fling, and in my last coupla weeks, half-frustrated, I understood that a new lover wouldn't fit well into my schedule. 

“I simply wouldn’t have the time for him!” was my consolation.

I plan my ferry out and hold and behold, here he comes. Turns out, the time I found once the right man stepped in front of me. Or perhaps, I crossed his path - with a smoothie in my hand. I knew it would be him. Inconspicuous but tall, dark stubble, blond mane and green eyes. Hello there, Frenchie.

I’m keeping it rational as I know that connections are more easily made thousands of miles away from home and responsibilities - especially - during a pandemic that’s been forcing us to distance and deal with longings alone.
I’m only a human and those past 3 months haven’t been the easiest on me either. But there were some huge bouts of gratitude and solid moments of happiness in my own company. Is that strange?

Here comes this French fellow to trigger some pain points.

Utterly honest, vulnerable, and emotional communication preceded anything physical between us. 
This time I checked everything about him before I let him into my heart.
I’ve been around many men, and I am well aware that certain factors from our childhood determine how well we do as adults in relationships and career-wise too. 
He has done the real work on himself - there was no bullshit in the way he presented himself. Not like the hippies around here claiming that orgies and psychedelics will do the work for them. Anyone bragging about various spiritual certificates, learning metaphysics, or attending re-birthing workshops after workshops isn’t authentic unless they do the inner work themselves afterward day after day.
Knowing the theory nor experiencing visions will do the trick!

Our romance ‘in the real’ world wouldn’t be ideal - at least not with our current circumstances, but for now - it was exactly what I wanted. I needed to uncover my unconscious beliefs about my capacity for trusting a man, ask myself hard questions about my own readiness for a relationship and reconsider how I would present myself if the opportunity for something stable came along - how would I take it? Would I run from intimacy as I always do?
This time, with some stumbling and fumbling, I walked towards.

I felt bold in opening my heart and my mind to a man whose realness and warmth enchanted me. Our interactions brought me a breath of fresh air and the realization that good, available, and emotionally intelligent men with open hearts are out there! Yay🙌🏼

And let me tell you, our physical connection was out of this world. It must have healed my heart, opened a portal to new kinds of manifesting, but also made me alive, sad and grateful when parting with him. Unexplored territory! with a (near) stranger!

I’m grateful for my ability to create deep connections in record time and for having attracted great men into my bed in the last coupla years.

Maybe I’ll see this man again, maybe I won’t. I am ready for anything.

Like I say in my new book - A goddess doesn’t always have to be in a relationship. She may care for a few lovers she’s transparent with or she may enjoy long periods of celibacy.

I’m that woman.








No comments:

Post a Comment

Please be kind and have some compassion for my non-native English grammar. Applications for voluntary editing are now open.