Monday, July 20, 2020

The beauty we fail to see within, especially, when dealing with unkind family members.

During my meditation experience earlier today, I observed how objectively I can reflect on what’s going on outside of myself. My grandparents' old-fashioned behavior, my mother's efforts to put the past behind, my sister’s avoidance of feeling pain of any kind, and my own detachment from it all. The whirlwind inside looks like a piece of cake when I separate it from pure consciousness.

I could reflect on and forgive my imperfect behavior, seeing it as a way to protect myself, creating a defense mechanism from false accusations and misunderstandings. I can understand that my childhood wounds dictate how much trust I’m ready to disperse since its supply is limited.

I realize why I consider romantic relationships unstable, why I used to feel safer on the road, and how I’ve changed to now willingly settle for something calm and secure. Like a guaranteed well-paid job offer overseas, for example, where I’m being chased to start as soon as possible and commit to at least a year-long contract. I love it!
Security is calling me. 

I find it rather funny how friendships withstand the test of time as if nothing happened. They resume where they’ve left off as if goodbyes were said only yesterday. On the other hand, many relationships start breaking apart at the speed of light even during a short absence.

Everyone knows that long-distance relationships suck. So don’t…

Regarding families, sometimes distance helps to recognize that our love-hate relationship is mostly love. Absence grows the heart fonder. Except, differences are differences and no time apart can reconcile different characters and magically make them get on well together. 

Christian Standard Bible
Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown, among his relatives, and in his household.”

I'm not religious but I frequently pray to angels and other spiritual beings.

I pray not to succumb to guilt that I've chosen to leave, that I've chosen what’s best for me.

I pray not to succumb to shame that I might have failed. As a daughter, as a granddaughter, sister, cousin, or a past girlfriend… I’ve always done as best as I could for that given time.

During my meditation-prayer, I not only observed the light within me, but I felt divine love pouring all over me. Perhaps it was Archangel Jofiel who came to console me and help me open my eyes to my inner beauty. 
Why? Interpersonal relationships with all their differences trigger guilt and shame no matter how hard we pray. Loving ourselves helps ease these feelings.
Sometimes it's a struggle to see the outside beauty, thus the gift of our inner radiance must become the unshakable foundation for self-love.

I don’t know why the connection to the divine felt so intense today, so real tears streamed down my face and gratitude filled my aura field. A complete acknowledgment of my light and also the difficult ordeal that ‘no one is a prophet in their own family’ weighed heavily upon me, yet the support and gratitude rippled through me and I've chosen to stick with the light. It would have been too easy to fail to recognize my fortune, my progress as a human, my spiritual work, and healing. I forgive. I just cannot forget the past, not feel afraid of more hurt and disappointment and humiliation. Is that wrong? 
No, it isn't. Deep down I trust the slow healing process when it comes to this family of mine.



 

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Please be kind and have some compassion for my non-native English grammar. Applications for voluntary editing are now open.