Today, the first little crisis struck.
I became aware that I went from one type of isolation to another.
It's been only 22 days since my arrival, and they say that to get used to new habits and routines you need 21 days at it... Did I get used to it, can I get used to it?
I'll check-in in a week again. Frankly, I spent the first 7 days in York only observing what my new routine could be like... so to be precise, it's been only 2 weeks since the mother in charge left; then the real fun began. It's just me and - let's call her Teal, to protect my girl's identity. She is a bright college student who needs some mobility support - and heaping doses of self-discipline.
I'm not so good with self-discipline myself judging by the amount of sweets I eat, the bottle of red wine I struggle to ration per week, and the clothes lying on my bedroom floor.
There are areas where I excel. Boosting other people's self-esteem, confidence, positive body image, and gratitude to name the obvious. I've also learned to look after myself since I turned 18. I jumped straight into multiple jobs, shift work, vocational studies, paying the bills, and running all errands by myself.
Does Teal struggle with that? Not really... she doesn't have to do any of that.
So I'm wondering... what the hell am I doing here? The carer who doesn't care?
Then there's the city... the charming, little city that I see 2x a week, where they're so strict with social distancing that in a coffee shop full of tables and chairs, you can use 3. And they're all occupied by 1 person sitting at each. It sucks that I still don't have any friends here and that Bumble is so... English? All the guys I matched with seems to be super-cool about social distancing, perhaps never ever meeting face to face at all. Anyway, I was done with dating, wasn't I? I was done with stupid, inauthentic dating games... not with meeting people.
Can this cute city grow on me?
Here I am, sitting in my bedroom on a Saturday afternoon, clutching a cup of tea with oat milk, and staring at the empty street outside of my window in a rainy York, reminiscing about the good ol' times... when I felt alive, free, connected, and useful.
I'll get there. And it'll be like never before.