Sunday, November 1, 2020

Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence. 

Something they don't teach at schools, yet it's quintessential of a decent human being.

I argued with the 'parents' today... 

I've never taken a course of non-violent communication, but I can just imagine that's what I've been striving for when finally breaching the weeks-long silence... As we were deep amidst the arguing, I felt like saying: Well done, let's get it off of our chests, let it pour, let it get the light of the day... the festering period, the silent rage is not doing anyone any good.

I didn't know how to communicate with my own parents. I was a teenager when I left. Silently, without any explanation. The theme carried on, even when we superficially reconciled.... we just tolerated one another and desperately tried to avoid any conflict. Right, a conflict would have been perceived as bad... For that matter, we tiptoed around one another or retrieved to our perspective caves if a storm was on the horizon... and let me tell you, there's always a storm on the horizon when things are left unsaid. 

I got tired of walking on eggshells.

With this family, I have a chance to start anew. Start bold, fresh, true to myself, leave no stone unturned. 

We argued, we said stuff, we raised voices, I cried, we understood the other, we yielded, we grieved, we listened... we settled.

The storm was over, a rainbow appeared.

It's not wrong to argue. Quite the opposite. Only now I'm learning the 'how-to'.

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Please be kind and have some compassion for my non-native English grammar. Applications for voluntary editing are now open.