When love is budding and you're fully present to its wonderful blossoming

I admit, it feels like it was a different girl crying her eyeballs out not that long ago under a tree in Harrogate, Yorkshire. I couldn't picture how I could ever recover from the heartbreak... and now I feel so silly for that. If only I knew that true love was mere months away and less than 50 miles south!

As the psychic said in January, 2020, my ex has led me to him. This feeling I have right now... As if it all had been written in the stars so precisely and perfectly for me so I could meet this man, appreciate him and stay curious. He's decades older than me and I dig it. I was never fully present with my younger boyfriends even when we could have 50 years ahead together. There was constant mind chatter, doubts, sabotaging, running away from them, and then seeing if they would run after me... so immature, and very ineffective. I don't feel the need to do these things, tricks now. I learned my lessons. There was love some 12 years ago and we became such good friends later, but nothing else lasted. I don’t know why.

I'm obsessed with this man! Don't tell him. Earlier this year, I didn't think that I'd feel the fire in my belly again and be smitten by someone just as much as he would be with me (he tells me so). He's gorgeous, he's youthful, sexy (abs and skin to envy), he's generous, honest, a great dad to his children, he's affectionate and he loves me to bits.

I met his family last week, and the fact that he's not brought anyone home in over 4 years makes me feel, frankly, quite special. 

Anyway, people are scared to speak about the early days in a relationship because it's still so fragile and it feels elusive. Speaking about being in love while we're getting to know each other must be downright foolish! Well, I was wrong many times in the past about certain men even though my intuition would tell me more about them within days, a coupla weeks max. More than I could perceive with my other senses. Fear of emotional intimacy and getting hurrt played a massive role too. I'd either leave right away or stay and complain. I have no regrets about acting foolish then, nor now. This new connection has been on for a coupla months and I still feel great, fascinated, and if anything, the sensations are escalating. Of course, the fact that we see each other nearly every day helps to build trust faster. I find it NOT coincidental that the company I work for gives me work within a walking distance of his house! 

Nothing lasts forever, whether you meet your dream partner in your teens or in your 60's, it's bound to end some day. True love and friendships are immortal. This time, I'm not letting fear get the better of me.. in fact, there's no fear. I'm enjoying every moment.

And last but not least, if I've ever wondered what was the difference between fucking and lovemaking... he's letting me know. He's letting me know real good 😋 Dating me is not that hard. You only need to be honest, helpful, devoted, put up with my quirks, and make love to me at least once every day. Simple.