All well in Mexico

It's very hard to concentrate knowing there's a giant cockroach glued to the wall behind my back, but - here's an authentic Mexican experience for you!

So I made it. A trip that I've been considering for nearly a year. I'm a healer and mentor, somewhere happy and free is where I belong. There should be a big spiritual hub in Tulum, and my heart is leading me there. A year and a half in England where I couldn't find like-minded people was tough. It's time to stop playing small, and practice what I preach.

The frickin roach... haven't seen them indoors since Asia. I'm serious, focusing is hard, and eating here feels disgusting! My fault for choosing this super cheap Airbnb. Anyway, a bus to Tulum in a few hours!

Back to how I reached Mexico. Have you ever thought - what the fuck am I doing here? Well, despite it being my dream, it inevitably crossed my mind as soon as I got ripped off at Cancun airport and whisked in a shabby stinky car to an Airbnb in the middle of nowhere. The driver drove like a maniac but so did everybody else on the road. After wrestling with the non-functioning seat belt for several minutes, I gave up. I surrendered to the process of landing in a developing country. I'm not in the conservative UK anymore and no rules apply here. Isn't it precisely why I'm here? I decided to trust unconditionally. I played all my cards right and got this far, the universe must be on my side. I am safe.

I was so close to scrambling all my moneys and moving over here already in January. I felt a sense of doom and gloom when I returned to the UK (3x this year). Was it a mistake? I don't think so, nothing in life is a mistake. I found gratifying work in care and then fell in love with an admirable man in June. I wouldn't have known how much kindness I'm capable of otherwise and wouldn't have experienced timeless love. It's still puzzling to me how 2 people who are from 2 completely different eras can come together and form a solid uncommon bond. Connect in love, passion and multiply their collective positive intentions. He's rooting for me. And he keeps doing it even from afar. He encouraged me to make this move. I know that this is a soulmate bond, and the commitment to work through any shit that comes up between us is the best lesson I got this year. 

I'm not a traditional woman and I'll always live my life on my terms. I'm all for compromises because that's how I grow. It must be with the right man. Jake is it, but whether as a lover or friend, I don't know. He's planning to visit me next year. And if not, life always finds a way to bring the right people together. I tried to analyze why it felt better to remove myself from his house, yet not quite from the relationship. We spoke every day on the phone since the split-up! Discussing everything and being there for one another when we felt shattered, lonely, or jealous. There were necessary boundaries to establish. I came to a conclusion that because you're in a relationship, it doesn't mean you have to live together and definitely not that you are each other's property. Meeting up with him only for lunches and lovemaking felt somewhat freeing and more authentically me. I get mega defensive when he's being possessive and I know that my reaction makes things worse. We're working through all that.

pavlinalioness.com should be up in a couple of days.

Stay tuned for more adventures in this new chapter!