Love and letting go

On Love and letting go

Some time ago, I said that long-distance relationships are hard, if not impossible and that I'd never ever consent to one.

Fast forward nearly 1 year, I still do not consent (to convid).

Seriously, I've never said to him - let's do it, but, being over 6000 km away from the man I love, who loves me, and being effortlessly loyal to one another - I guess that we're in one! This currently long-distance relationship has always felt timeless. He's decades older than me, has completely different life experiences than me, yet we met at around the same level.

I need a lot of freedom and novelty in my life, he doesn't. He loves his apartment of xx years, goes to the same pub at the same time for the past xx years, plus he's a committed dad to his grown daughters. He just needs a bit of spice and I can use some stability! It's been serving.

I don't have problems with commitments, on the contrary, I love them, they make my routines predictable. At the same time, there always needs to be an exit sign in sight for me to feel safe. Otherwise, I feel trapped and I project traumas, my own, possibly that of my lineage, and the entire legacy of being a woman. The feminine in all of us doesn't like even a slight perception of control. Take it or leave it.

He understands.

We've had so many power battles, and several misunderstandings of one another, that what actually brought us closer together was when we let each other go...

At first, while still in England, I toyed with the idea to find another masculine embrace to run into.... but I sat with my emotions instead. Jake taught me the power of commitment and loyalty like no one else. Unforcefuly, with love, while dealing with his own jealousy issues (unfounded when it comes to our relationship).

We let each other go, knowing we'd always have the door open for one another even if just as friends.

Love is a beautiful mystery!

Now comingling with people who are around my age, I can see that there's a reason why I never dated young flaky playboys. I hate them.

I've always sought true masculine givers who know how to protect and stick to their word. So hard to find these days. Jake's soul must be from a different century. I love our daily hour-long phone calls. I wouldn't trade them for any party!

If you need a little centering - don't be shy to contact me!


With love and good health wishes,


Pavlina